I hate being a girl. Seriously. I will concede that there are benefits: the face we wake up to in the a.m. isn't the one we have to face the world in, high heels, the ability to carry a fab bag and not be forced to stuff all of our essentials into our non-accommodating or non-existing pockets and of course our strange power over the opposite sex. And while these benefits are super, my distaste for the downside of being a woman has increased with each passing year. When I was little and at the beach with my family and our close knit group of annual beach accompaniments (including my Mom's BFF and her 5 boys), I found it annoying that they could run around topless yet it was "frowned upon" when I attempted to do the same. As time passed, other aspects of all things girl ground at my nerves - why are we forced to bare all of our goodies in a bathing suit whereas stupid boys can wear board shorts and rash guards. Ugh! Would I really be such a freak if I shaved my unmanageably thick, white girl 'fro head of unruly hair. Shaving!?! Waxing!?! Mix/matching!?! Constant Maintenance?!? Child Birth?!? Periods!!!!!!
The last item on this not-even-close-to-being-done list o' bitching has been the one that has solidified my dislike for being all sugar and spice. Since the wrath of Eve began in 6th grade, my life has been constantly ruled by the terribly painful experience once a month. After 18 years of unbearable periods (see My Uterus Hates Me), 2 surgeries to address my endometriosis, 2 children, something had to be done. After the birth of my second child things began to get increasingly worse. The past 6 months alone have been horrible. The pain extended its grasp beyond once a month, making it difficult to live my life and do the things that are required by all of us Super women. Most importantly it interfered with my ability to be a fantastic mother to my 2 wonderful munchkins.
After reviewing all the options for treatment with my doctor, we came to the conclusion that a hysterectomy was the best option. Lucky for me, my doctor is phenomenal and highly trained with the Davinci Robotic Surgery
This hysterectomy ain't yo' Mama's hysterectomy, which required a C-section-esque incision. This minimally invasive procedure has an easier recovery time, even though it is still a major surgery.
Although this was clearly the best option, it was still a difficult choice to make. After all my rants about hating being a girl, I was suddenly clinging to something that made me distinctly so. And although my uterus and I have fought a vengeful battle for more than half of my life, it was my precious munchkins' first home. I began having dreams filled with being punished for escaping the wrath God intended for Eve's conniving ways. My decision was solidified as the surgery neared and my pain began getting worse. The day I picked up my adorable chuck'o man 2 year old and nearly dropped him due to the pain radiating from my abdomen made me realize that any notions to the contrary were ridiculous.
It has now been 4 weeks since my surgery. My oh-so-wonderful and not-so hard on the eyes doctor was able to remove all of the endometerisosis, my massivily enlarged (source of the increase in pain) uterus and leave my ovaries. Although I have had a few setbacks, the recovery has been better than expected - only hampered by my own stupidity and stubbornness. I would feel great on some days and forget to take it easy (stupid, stupid, stupid) and then pay for it after. I can't wait to be totally back in the game. To be able to workout, play with my kids, dance like a fool and further live my life without the pain and nonsense that my body used to put me through. As for the nostalgic issues, I just tell myself that while my womb held my munchkins for 9 months, my heart will hold them for a lifetime and I would rather hang on to that organ.
As for being a girl, I'm beginning to come around. Except for the bikini thing - that one still pisses me off.
I used to run around topless as a kid and did not understand why my mom was getting so upset about it lol! I also had horrible periods growing up but luckily it got better after I had my daughter, hoping it stays this way... Glad you got through the surgery ok and hope you make a full recovery, good luck!! Try to take it easy. =)
ReplyDelete